Look2 See2

 I'm at a new place now.

Although the task is not alien to me, it is considered as a new position, so new to me and to the company. 

I'm at yet another crossroad. I've been given a task to display on how I want my department to work, how it would function. 

Heck I like the sound of that.

It's just that, I need to make these as original as I can. I want to make it (the design, the layout, the process) all must be originate from me, I need it to be from me.

However in doing so I'm taking too much time scrolling, browsing and getting ideas, getting inspired on how's and what's.  

Its almost 6 months now. Pray for me, for I have prayed my whole life for this.

Ramadhan Rambles

some days, my to do list feels like one dot after another, so very long, it forms a line, an endless line

some days, I think I can manage

but today; this week, I couldn't breathe.

workload engulfs me, suffocating my eyesight, my brain, my thoughts kept getting interrupted by other task, demanding to be done, demanding my time, time that I don't have.

TT

I was looking for a place , a person for comfort, so I mindlessly scroll my chat, until I found my late brother's, the conversation we had, the final text he sent. 

He was the kindest, a solid person, a rock for the people around him. the kindest indeed.

-back to current times, how do I find solace in all of this...

I skipped a year to post this

I quit that ID job in Mont Kiara (now Bangsar),



Ever since my last post, I have somewhat graduated from diploma study (get it? because I worked for almost 3 years there) in interior design. Although I'm still learning, through and through. 

That was one hell of a ride. I learned so much. It was crazy

I'll do my best to practice all the lesson learned. 

Oh, then I went to (another) ID company, but practicing architecture, whaaaaat,


But hey, they let me go home early.



So we we are cool for now. 

out of sudden

 wow.

I tried my luck in an ID firm based in Mont Kiara. They texted me back, I contemplated but what the heck, it has been more than a year now. I am proud of myself for doing something, out of my comfort zone. 

I can't help feel demotivated at times whenever someone tries to question my life choices. 

I get to meet these amazing bunch of people. Plus they have their own surau.

Mantap.

Drafted this for so long

One of the things that I intend to do in the future is to go back to school and learn urban design- again. Probably in another school. Enroll myself into learning architecture again. I like the idea of studying, I wanted to continue to study and continue to have home works. but without the existence of grades and marks. I wanted to understand things according to my own pace and time frame. I want to understand things with my heart. That way, I will remember it forever.

I should study photography too.

uuu

It's been over ten years man, a decade plus of writing stuff in this blog.

If you happen to back-track my logs (or blogs for this matter), you'll see how I have changed from 2009 until now. 

To quote Enoch from AOS;

"People arrive, so we celebrate, and people leave, so we grieve. We do what we can with the time in between, but the cycle is always there. No one escapes it. Not even me."

My point is, I'm still here and if I'm not here anymore, just simply read my previous postings, there's a little bit of me in there. 

until then, buddy.

caved in again and again

My expectation in life is to be invisible and I'm good at it.

I'm comfortable to be invisible, but its not making money. 

I'm in my comfort zone and I'm afraid or just refuse the hassle of interacting with people in regards to money

I did think of offering my photography services to others, but I still feel like I'm unworthy of it.

When it comes to offering myself, or my services, I caved in, resort to thinking that I'm not worth it and because no one has ever took a chance on me or rather, 

I have never took any chances with myself.

Dis(Appear)

You who disappeared for months, gone unnoticed to all but me. I will wait patiently.

I understand there's an underlying reason to those disappearance, unnoticed to all but me.

When the time comes, you will appear again, like rain in a drought, like sunshine after a monsoon.

Job or Jobless

Lately, I have been attending to job interviews and at times like these, these opportunity comes scarcely. The whole world stopped, 

All become a complete standstill because of a deadly threat that no one can see but all are felt.
Anyway, I'm being picky about it. 

A part of me is being selfish, the other part feels like I've made mistake by doing so. 

I can't help but wonder, how far would I go for this job?

Will it save me? or will it murder me instead...

From then, to a foreseeable future

If any of you ever read some of my old blog post, from my horrible style of writing to a more consumable paragraph, most that are heavily influenced by sappy sad trends (now to think about it, a horrible, horrendous fashun *long sigh). I can't help but cringed, so much so I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

But, I won't delete it. No matter how much I wanted to. I can't bring myself to do it. Come to think of it, this blog has become my diary of all the good-horrible-life changing things of my life. The timeline are a bit of a mess but it recorded from school-work-politeknik-work-university-work-back to school. Am I not one of the lucky ones, to be blessed with such things.

There's these great bunch people whom I still pray of their well being, those whom I haven't heard from for years. I hope you are well.

Are you even aware that I'm still posting shizt here?! ahahahaha

Guys, I'm still posting stuff. come and read.. and perhaps give a comment.

Past-time picture-taker

Photography is something I enjoy doing. Capturing the memories as if saying "If its not in camera, it never happened". 

I used to take pictures almost everyday using the camera filter app in my phone. I would snap pictures of my friends eating, during classes, getting a flat tire, late night session in the studio, whatever moments that we're in and occasionally share it on social media. That was my world until it hit me.

Along the way, things happened that affected me personally and how I perceive reality, it was a big slapped in the face that I stopped taking pictures. I thought there weren’t a necessity to it. I started to wonder about other people's opinion. That was stupid. 

Things got worst after my phone got stolen/corrupted disk/laptop crashed and all of my precious pictures were gone. Just like that.

Some time later I managed to save a decent amount of money to buy myself a fairly decent camera.

Here I attached some amazing things I captured. That are okay lah ;)

I know what I did last Raya Korban

Hello blog! It’s been a while hasn’t it?

The story that made me come back here was our long, long, long journey back to Kedah.

As July passes and we enter the month of August, the weather slowly changes from the scornful hot to dark clouds and light rain. By the time we reached 10^th, we were shocked with the news of a storm (which later identified as ‘typhoon lekima’) that hit the north of Malaysia. Thunderstorm and strong wind knocked down trees and telephone lines, roofs are swept away. Alas, since we didn’t come during eid, it seems a must to come for eid-adha.

Our journey starts with eerie lightning as we stepped onto the Cik Timah and drove out of Salak Tinggi. My first thought was its going to be quite exciting but scary at the same time. I wonder what sort of obstacle that we’re going to face (I’m regretting this later). It was 3.45 am and layers of fog starts building up at the tollgate highway, gosh it feels like a haunted disaster movie by this time. We took the usual north-south expressway (through the usual Elite highway to Shah Alam & Subang) I sort of miss this road.

Welp, it seems like we’re literally walking into the storm.

By the time we stepped into the guthrie highway, the rain had stopped but the lightning follows. It was (so far) a smooth drive. But, I said it too soon.

The real nightmare starts when we approached the Selangor-Perak border (Tanjung Malim area) because that is when the wide three-lane highway becomes two-lanes and the long, long, long, long drive to Kedah actually started. Throughout the drive, trucks, lorries, busses and cars can be seen parked by the road side (we’re assuming those people are taking naps). The longer the journey, more cars joined the jam. Our initial plan was to make a rest-stop at Tapah RnR for Subuh, we ditched that plan when we saw the RnR entrance blocked with all type of vehicles (most likely aiming for toilet break). We actually stopped by the roadside ourselves and perform Subuh there and continue onwards and upwards (literally). The jam eased up a little after the Menora Tunnel but back to stop-go and the struggle to fight of the delirium that lasted for hours until sunrise, then slowly faded after midday. We stopped by Tapah RnR around 9 am for a quick rest. Abah was the real MVP, he drove solo until we reached Penang at to visit Arwah Yaie’s grave. We actually reached Kedah arounf 3 pm. WTF? (what-the-fish)

So. We spent roughly 10 hours on the road. Ppfftt.

What exactly in this observable universe are your purpose?

I caught myself saying something so condescendingly arrogant that it occur to me my actions reflects the person I am. By that I must've been an arrogant selfish not to mention my impaired judgement on the smallest things.

The other day I yelled at a friend for something I thought was inconsiderate of her to do. A friend whom I knew deeply that she wouldn't have done the things she did on a baseless reason. Yet my emotions got to me.

If I were in my friend's place on that day, I would've given a slap, followed by "Who do you think you are? How dare you think so low of me? Didn't it occur to you that it was the best and by best the only decision possible for me?"

That's right. How dare I

If one is unaware of an unpleasant fact or situation one cannot be troubled by it.

I took a post that nobody wanted. I ended up with responsibilities. And now I’m complaining about it. What do I do? I am not in the right state of mind to think any rational nor logical nor practical (upmost) way to fix my inner demons.

I am now a selfish prick (to myself) and to all the drivers out there (who is being a prick too). I kept asking for help, yet no one listen,  

How do you fix for being wrong all the time? How can I be right?


Gone on halfway mental.

I need an upgrade

I hardly get inspired these days. It's hard for me to construct basic sentences. What I meant by that was; I find it difficult to comprehensively construct a sentence using words I hardly use. I don’t even know if I’m saying it right. It gets more frustrating when I find myself out of words, as if I finished up my grammar quote for the day, and it is not even much! I typed faster, by faster my fingers are fighting between themselves who gets to spell/type first. This in return makes my sentences all wrongly spelled, hence I have to take extra time to correct my spellings when I don’t have the time to spare! I keep telling myself I should write and read more or read and write more. Is it the way I speak? Or what I read? Was it because I haven’t read enough?

Maybe I should just play video games

Yes,

As Stupid As Stupid Does

Hard times

The clock strikes 5.30pm, 

lights flickers, 

there was an intense moment that all of the workers in creating levels.co can’t comprehend. 

Which was that their monthly pay was overdue. 

And it all started when creating levels.co owner; Mr Ruru  decided it was best to go on a vacation 

and pretended to have an amnesia in regard to pay all of his employee’s monthly salary. 


... they are still waiting for their pay.

The low-grade-worker and her rants

Thank you. For killing the insect I hated so much. Thank you, for taking an empty aerosol can and put it on top of the now-already-dead-ish insect, so it won’t escape or sprung back to life. Thank you for kicking or stomping on that petty insect so I can go back to my workspace. The pay may not be as great, well I didn’t really do much work, just the basic drafting works and the office itself is like a concrete bunker with no direct natural ventilation or lighting or ..(the list of how the office condition is dreadful but bearable could go on).  But the thing that made this firm alive is the atmosphere, the people and the office culture. These small things that people show each other that they care. Plus, we aren’t monitored 24/7 for slacking off sometimes, but we make sure to get the job done by ends meet.

I wish I can express how sorry I was to the trees (and to my Boss)for my own dumb mistakes.

do you remember, the 21st night of september

Before myspace, facebook and blogging was relevant, I used to write to people. Exchanging news, thoughts, trivia , through email. It was a time where I used to put my thought into words, literally. Back then, mummy used to forward me lots of forwarded message she got and it was thousands of them! Most are trivias that are now lined up on our facebook page where people shared about almost everything and anything. It felt like that was the way I connected to the world of internet. Back then, browsing the web didn’t really get us this far, because we still have our link to books, dictionary, thesaurus and newspapers! We aren’t as lazy as we are now, sadly. I would’ve emailed my friends, asking how was life and all. I don’t know now, I hardly speak to any of them. Now, when the technology is far more advance and communicating is taken from pure text to virtual conference and I still didn’t get in touch with my friends.

To those who I failed, I deeply apologized for not giving the extra effort to do so. I guess, life happens, and I just got away with time. I’m pretty certain that most of you have changed, into different persons, better persons, we see the world differently now.

Live long and prosper,

Cheers.

A little patriotic rant

to find the similarities of what made malaysia "malaysia" is next to impossible to me. before i can get to the best part of malysia,  my brain witheld itself and starts tuning on the possibilities that the culture practices in malaysia is similiar to nearby countries. and the most frustrating part is, our next door neighbour, singapore have widely claim to most of our local delicasies as theirs? since they are the first world country and are much more advance. but to go there would be vaint and hurtfull and frustrating. instead lets focus on us. what are we, unity, the most popular word that utters from outsiders about malaysian are, they are kind. we are kind, despite the sarcasm, we are kind and generous people. to love our country, we have to know its origin. even though, we didnt get our independance in the most famous and heroic way, we did get our independance, our leaders got through so much hardship, our people fought so many. but we gain friends and family of different colors from that battle. malaysia nowadays have been influence so much from the west, we sometimes forget our asian past, our sweet and kind and humble culture. kindness. i feel it in our blood. despite all the different religions and culture and diversity, we all share the same blood of kindness running though our veins. we uphold the same flag that our forefathers have fought for and we continue to uphold the flag as the 14  states unites as one country.

Team Raya KL

We had a wonderful eid last Sunday. The day started with a bliss of fajr rain, so sleep was unforgivably satisfying if I didn’t get to wake up at 6 feeling tired (and blessed, mind you!) We’ve been working hard to clean up and prepare for raya occasion, mostly on cleaning up the house to welcome our guest. This year’s theme lies somewhere between purple and pink, not really my favorite color, but I’ve come to terms to just live with it, if it makes mum happy. Well, I don’t look that awful in pink, I guess. Ha. We had breakfast of lemang and rendang, ketupat and kuah kacang and the impromptu lodeh and lontong. Raya is perfect, voila! I helped baked the cookies while Kenny baked some mean butter cake (with regards to mummy’s recipe). Ohhh! And we made a lot of last minute raya shopping, where we got ourselves a new mini sofa that fits perfectly by the stairs! Gosh! I think we’ve made quite a few trips to Messa Mall and the convenient store. Alhamdulillah, mummy made her first solat aidilfitri this year, alhamdulillah yeay! We went straight to visit arwah pian ;) and surprisingly the way out was jammed because of the amount of vehicles, all the way from the cemetery to the masjid’s entrance. Fathi came by after we did our raya routines, taking family photo. His scenario was a sad one I’d say, who wouldn’t be when you somehow got yourself a plane ticket on the night of first raya. But he’s a man, he’ll be fine, haha. Sad, but fine. After Fathi left, we went straight to Kampung Baru to visit Nek Miah,that was cool. It’s been so long since we had raya in Kuala Lumpur, thou I couldn’t enjoy the trip there because I fell asleep whenever I can in the car due to exhaustion. But I love Kuala Lumpur, despite it being extra hot and sunny. That’s all for now.

21:14

If I were to describe myself, I would be, like a tree I hope. Because when you're a tree, you provide shade from the sun and sometimes the rain. You give out oxygen, so that's definately benefits the world altogether. But people only want me when they feel like it, or thats how I feel. My roots would be firmly grasping the soil, means when you really want me and you need me, I wont ever leave, heheh, and if you needed some shelter, you'll find me by the roadside hovering over you, uuu.

I hope I'm like a tree to whoever that loves me, but please cherish me, on behalf of all the trees in the world, cherish us and all the benefits we've been giving you, for free; our love (oxygen, speaking as trees).

Text me back please, humor me.

08:33

I finished reading a book just now. Ha, it was fast because I couldn't get myself to read throughout the content, all because it has to many unecessary narration of the current situation in it! It's not poetry, the words are not as good, but its decent for kids story book. I know, my mistake for buying it. Hey its because I was in a rush to buy books at the Big Bad Wolf, you'll understand how crazy you'll be when you're at that kind of place with all tons of books being stocked up on sale. Its crazy.
Off to a new book to be read,

Have a Good Day.

01:06

I would like to tell you a story. I haven't been writing in such a long time that I find myself lost with words, words that actually potrays what I feel, what I see and how I want to interpret my feelings and views on things. Its like I'm losing my memory. I couldn't pronounce or spell the words I wanted and the most frustrating thing of all was, I can't express myself because I got conflicted in using english or malay. My words, my dear dear words. I love english so much. Thats how I express myself last time, through writing. Sadly now, I cloudn't get myself to read, or finish a chapter, let alone reading through an article. My eyes got cought up reading to fast but my brain (poor unfortunate brain) have not been exercising with reading any interesting or good material in these past years, so I end up re-reading, sometimes outloud what is it that I am trying to digest. I was, WAS, and almost-avid-reader. Thank God I knew that word, else I'll be saying I am a fast reader,almost fast.

Hence, the story is genuinely (just because I've been using the word basic quite a lot) about my struggle to complete a well-thought-out english sentence so I don't sound ridiculous. Its an exercise, my remedy to being a well-structure-english-sentence-student, again. or so I hope.

What triggered this? I actually watched the new CW tv series, Riverdale. An incarnation of the archie comic with a twist of dark humour,mysterie and so far, a good storyline. What atrracts me the most was Jughead's narration at the beginning and the end of each episode. The words were beautifully crafted (thou I may be exaggerating here) that I find myself wanting for more, like I wish I could read the book about this. I have a lot of books in my possession, there's no need for me to get a new one. My unsolved issue right now is, I haven't finish the books that I bought. In fact, I should do so right now.

Good Night.

fret not, afraid not

This picture represent the wonderful experience using an iMac *sughoiiyy~*

Even though the work-load aren't as extreme as others, it was still a wonderful.

I wish I could bring one home. 

hang try digest ni elok-elok

Not everything is sunshine and daisies. I am doing my best not to be a pretentious ass kisser. I'm trying to be true, trying to do what I think is right. However, right now it's hard, because you have to deal with these immature act that comes along with what you stand for. Just because you don't see things the way they do. But I did hurt them when I say those words. It's just that I made a statement that it's annoying and  I precisely said, minimize the talk on those things that only a fraction of you do understand, minimize, not reduce to ashes, and better yet, enlighten us with what ever you guys are talking about. It is after all a community group, meaning there is a lot, and different kind of people that exist in the group.
Yet you guys took it wrongly, partly I am to be blamed. I just hope and wished, those you see in red would overcome the immaturity and try to see it in other's shoes. I am not perfect, I assure you, but I am willing to learn. I am so fed up of being stepped on, but I am also learning on how to be nicer when criticizing people or tell people off. That was not to be mean, but to fix the bad attitude that we carry on and let people behave rudely to each other.

Back to doing the right thing, so I thought I was doing justice when I stand up for a friend, though my words were harsh, but I'm not the only one with blood on her hands. Anyway, it seems that nobody really cares, they wouldn't want to get their hands dirty. And I go down with a sinking ship, alone. I guess I have to learn my lesson. Some people who actually cares should keep mum on things and turn a blind eye. Because I end up getting hurt alone. Hell no to that, I'll just have to find a different way to approach things.

I'm pretty sure some of them feels like I'm some lalang, no backbone, pretentious perhaps, but I'll be kind as long as I can. No pretending. I still believe that all of you, the rest of the world, are good, everyone was pure and still am pure good. It's the world that tainted them, wrong doings, past mistakes, harsh life, different upbringing. That makes you guys see it the way you do, but I hope Allah would clear your paths, clear you sights, clear you heart and mind, to see whats beyond things, so that friendship can be restored again. Love, all you need is Allah's Love.

And I hope, one day those who I have sinned, would forgive me, and would find peace in forgiving others too. in shaa Allah.

the pretentious heartless you are,what you are not

its because i know ur that kind of person. you act like you dont give a shit but you give evry shits n think ur opinion is the only one matters. and i cnt tolerate those negativity, its because i read those kind of commnt or opinion tht my mind n my heart is affected to see bad, to feel bad. so i choose not to. and i reject all the negativity you represents. no matter how bad it is, there is always reason behind every doings. and all the bad feedback you get, doesnt mean tht you hve to give back the same bad stuff. it starts with you. how you take the bad, neutralize it and turn it into good, or just pure nothing. the more you hold grudges, the more it eats your soul an you become the so called pretentious heartless. but its all your fault for seeing it the way you did. unless you man up, and put urself in other peoples shoes, you are never going to escape from your world of everything sucks. when Allah clearly created this world to be cherish and to prepare for the heareafter.

cil

the other day we celebrated my eldest brothers post birthday family meal. so we went to chilli's for lunch. the ambience was nice, we laughed and talked and poked fun on each other. doing what we do best. then it was time for dessert and mum cracked a joke tht mimicks my late brothers. . . we stopped talking. our face still holds a smile, our laughter a little inaudible. but our eyes just gaze on each other with tears. oh how much we missed him that very moment.

POLITIKUS

If you give me a logical problem, I may find a logical solution. If you explain to me technically how things work, I will understand and work my way out of things, in shaa Allah. Drawings, specifications, techniques, methods, flow, those, I can comprehend. Now the world we live in is not made of entirely all that. In fact it has become so brutal, I wonder who put a price tag on our land and soil and air and every benefits comes from it and make it theirs. I have been avoiding, I have been ignoring the issues that circles our great nation. I love Malaysia, I do, with all my heart and soul, wallahi. I would gladly help making It into a better nation. But I can’t help being skeptical on how things run nowadays. The politics have become so filthy, I just couldn’t find the logic on why people who runs the country (or help runs it) did what they did!? Their minds are clouded with greed and power, they symbolise the monster we mistaken for people. I choose to ignore, because when I care too much, my heart will be engulf in pain and hatred of what we’ve become as a country that stands on power of democracy. Well to hell with that. I can’t see what’s wrong or wright anymore. Religions have been twisted to accommodate the words of a selfish minister. Laws are bent to fulfil the needs (GREED) of a supposed criminal. Those who FIGHTS for their WRIGHTS! Punished??!!!
And mostly because I never stop caring, and I care too much, but I can't do anything about it except du'a. Astaghfirullahalazim, please Ya Rabb, save my home, my land, for now it have been sold slowly to the outsiders.

... and beyond

It’s still awkward brother, where are you, I wish I could ask you that and pretend I don’t know. But that’s like defying Allah’s will. That’s not what I want. That’s not what you’d want either. Not thinking about you makes me forget for a while, that emptiness inside me, inside us. I have a feeling that mom is a little pissed that maybe we move on a little too fast, she hates the thought of us already over your death. No, she’s wrong, she’s far from right. It still aches in each and every one of us. Honestly, I never forget you, not a single day passes not thinking about you even for a second. I bet momma thought of you the most, in most of her du’as, in her prayer, in her sight, in her mind. Abah? He’s suffering , just as hard as Ibu. Thou, he have his ways of covering his sadness. Abapis, he loves you too much, slowly progressing for better in shaa Allah. I did something stupid again today. I tried calling you, hoping you take that call, hoping you say ;ndrah~ kenape… I’m used to this stupidity.  

---

Those who laugh loudest are the most loneliest. Pretending that its okay, when it's not, most certainly not. I have a theory, but I'd rather keep that theory to myself. It's a theory of why things happen. Among other theory that I developed. The first half of the year, I started my university life, it was challenging, very. Then Allah soothe it down for the second semester, but He gave me, gave us this. He took away apart of us, that can never be replace. And its excruciating. I'm still grieving

bull

It's the semester break, and I have tons of homework to do. I had a conversation with my sister that leads to us comparing our bullshits, firstly because she was complaining about having so many of them (hw's) and she said my reply was bull. Hermm. Basically we were comparing our 'bullshits'. Apparently I love my bullshits. They are on their way to become fertilizers.

No leads

I don't want to lead. I want teamwork. That's probably why I asked for others opinion. Yet, that left me hanging with the questions. I didn't mean to be the one who delivers bad news, or any kind of news, yet, here I am. So please, please give your full cooperation. Is it so utterly heavy to lift a finger and agree/ disagree/ a bit of both, or better yet , come up with a much brilliant solutions. Because, at the end of the day, I am the one who face the music.

Help me, this is me, asking for your help. Please help me, I don't want to do this alone.

daa-dum

Astaghfirullahalazim,

When The Lord wants to test you, He'll just do it, Kun! And there you go, off feeling horrible.

Subhanallah, how great our Allah, He test us, :D I just couldn't stop smiling

There is a reason for everything , its just Subhanallah.

May Allah ease this, in shaa Allah, amin.

Why Do People Live At The Studio.

Studios are a sanctuary for architecture student. Without a studio, there will be no home, no classroom, no meet up, no tutorials and  most importantly, no work place. It is so sacred that everything evolves around, within, in between and always cross-path with the studio. We rest our heads on tables, chairs, cut out boxes, mat, old clothes, etc, anything that would provide some-sort of base or cover for our bodies. Today we discuss on why live in studio when you have a bed at home.

1. Work
Submission, crit, presentation, review, crit-like tutorials, all of these can drive architecture student mad of the ridiculous work to be done within the given time frame. Some, with special abilities are able to cope up with the work and produce zestful design ideas and concept, while the norm suffered the deadlines pressure.

2. The studio have air conditioner.
These are proven really handy during hot days (and nights). Although, the air within the studios regulates carbon dioxide is making the air cooler, makes you unhealthy .

3. Free water supply, free internet, free life?
Explains enough.

4. Budak studio
Or.. the studio people, the regulars, ones who often eat,live,breathe studio. They are the essentials that brings life to the studio, the more the merrier, the merrier the better. Those who can't or unable to do work (or focused themselves to do work) often resort to doing work at the studio, such because, when there is people, there are point of reference, and.. when you need a short nap, there are few people who are willing (or unwillingly) wake you back to work.

5. Food
Sometimes, one of the studio ppl would come and bring food from home. Sometime, the subject of hunger can be addictive and we end up eating, rather than doing work. hah-ha. The best times are, when one person decides to go out for a meal, others end up ordering drinks (or food).bungkuih ikat penoh!

6. Stuff
There's a lot of stuff to bring,or to do, for your work. Sometimes they're big and wide (A1 board) sometimes small and handy. We need the space. The downside is; at some point, you'll loose stuff in the studio. always. ;(


I guess, that concludes of all the things i think why do people stay/live in the studio, when you have a bed at home (or rumah sewa).

Give me a moment to write you a story

Kisah Senibina or Story of Architecture.

It has been almost a month. A month of anxiety, breath-taking, chills, scary to the pit, self-doubt, self-discovery, patience, all in all, an exciting and dangerous journey.

While we the polies (from polytechnics) struggle to adjust and adapt to the surroundings, our mind were full of thoughts. I would put in a way, back then (in polytechnics) our imaginations were barricaded with rules and regulations that bind our way of thinking. Now, everything is possible, if and only if you can justify yourself (your design).

Another way to put things, we are all in a maze, an exciting, disturbing, evokes fear and abnormalities yet astonishingly beautiful ideas that lay ahead, waiting to be merge in your design kind of maze and while the original part four archi students have already stepped into the maze (some climbed over, some went through the walls, others just found their way throughout the maze itself) , we polies just discovered how to actually climb those walls, to fly and believe things are possible.

Give a little time to me

To work this out

Read me apologies.

I must have sounded selfish the last time I wrote. The one about the chingus.. haha. I'm sorry, I didnt mean to be so deep about my thoughts, but it was genuine. When I read back, I thought I sounded ridiculously selfish for saying stuff like that. Again, my thousand apologies. Anyway, I don't want you to be bothered with those words anymore, yes its true I was upset, but not anymore, okay? I over-think a LOT, If we see each other, remind me to buy you an ice-cream, my apologetic gesture to you, hehee. I love my friends, and I have my flaws, some are still undiscovered, and I should'n judge beforehand.

sincerely, the selfish-idiotic-ridiculous writer.

Say something~ Will you?!

Salam, sudah lama tak dengar suara kau, wajah kau pun aku curi-curi pandang pabila kau post sesuatu, itu pun kalau ada wajahnya. 

Apa khabar? kataku, kabare? waras? tanyaku lagi. Teringin nak dengar cerita kau, peristiwa kau, hari-hari kau, perasaan kau, susah-senang kau. 

Jangan risau, aku takkan terasa kecil, cuma jalan cerita aku masih lagi sama, itu sebab aku nak dengar cerita kau, jauh, jauhh lagi menarik dari hari-hari ku. 

Hahaa, bukan bererti cerita aku tiada naik turunnya, cuma tak semenarik cerita kau.

Kabarkanlah pada aku ye, aku rindu suara kau, cerita kau, sudilah cerita.

Buzz kill

My head is burden with worry. I am worry about the interview, about my family, about my future. Recently, I heard a heavy dark secret, within this secret lies a dark and bitter past of someone. It shocked me tremendously how dark can someone past be. But that person went through it without any exemption. The things that drove them to do what they had to do. I cried so hard, silently listening to these stories. It makes me wonder, will I be as strong to face such task in the near future? Wallahu’alam

sikit sikit lah

These are my precious final semester project. It's actually the midterm version of it. I went to a downfall at early stage of the semester, had to pick myself up (with help from my friends n lectures) and make the best of everything, Alhamdulillah! These work aren't the best in architecture (I have seen far much better final projects) but I did my best during that period of my life, Alhamdulillah

kerja ringan

This is just a glimpse of my work. I made this based on a real house,therefore the initial idea of the house and how it was modeled was not mine entirely.

rant

I used to have so many things to say in mind, so much that I have to pour it out in words. So many things have assembled and these thoughts get scrambled up in my brain to the point that I can’t get them straight. I have been exposed and allowed myself to be contaminated with the junks in this world. I have become lazy. I am prone to blame myself such because blaming others are considered as an act of selfishness.

I am still looking for myself, that I once lost, where am I?

sayang ibu, sayang abah, sayang semua

Enjoy the moment, while it last.

Be grateful of what you have.

Don’t ever forget to thank Allah, all the time.

For you are blessed with so much, 

When someone, somewhere has nothing left.

Savour the moment.

Apa pun yang terjadi,ku kan slalu ada untukmu

Alhamdulillah. First and foremost, I am blessed with such news, to stand among the best in accepting the scroll that my mates and I have struggled years to obtain. But as the news steer clear, I realized that I won't be joining most of my giddy,crazy and awesome friends on stage, not on the same day, sadly.

Thus, making my heart grew heavy and welled up. It's never an option to say if it's fair or not. But I would say, without my friends, I won't be standing where I am today. Without their opinion, their comfort, their presence, their humor, their love, their blessings and all of those wonderful and amazing things that make them who they are, I for one, wouldn't achieve this much.

So, a thank you is actually not enough to cover all those things you showered me with. You, my friends, are a ray of sunshine and I am forever in your debt. As I write these words, memories of all the good, the bad, the awful and the best times flashes through me. Those all nighters we pulled, the food we've shared, the dramas, the neighbors, the cats, the ugly weather, the missing board, the ruined board, the penny-less meal, the horror movies, the night walk, the gossip and the friendship. Sayang- sayangku, kawan, geng, babe, love, friend, kalian akan aku simpan dalam kalbuku,sampai kapan pun.

like the cool kids

Dear readers, I thought of redefining myself. Because I think I am slowly losing the true meaning of being me. I chose to write, for I believe my words sound better from my hands rather than my voice.

It has been 3 months (give or take) since I finished my diploma studies. I am expected to graduate in late August (in shaa Allah). However, ever since I came back home, (surely I felt relief, more relaxed and I enjoyed the free time that I have longed for) I was not being productive at all, not to the fullest anyway. Because of that, I felt empty; my mind suddenly craves for that thrill of work, assignments that challenge your imagination and your moral being (ha-ha). I want to improve myself, since I have all the time in the world, by being better in every way possible. Unfortunately, laziness came stumbling through my front door and I embraced it with warm and cuddly hugs every night (sigh).

From time to time, my consciousness to improve came knocking once a week, telling myself: You should be doing something now! Later, news came flooding; most of my classmate has started doing something beneficial in their lives; they started working. Regardless, if it were a part-time job, or better, work in an architectural firm! Then I felt it. The pain was like a slap right across my face. My pride wounded, my ego hurt. I kept telling myself; It’s alright mate, you’ll get your fair share when its time. I am unemployed and still living with my parent’s money.

I feel like I can do so much more, so much better and the thoughts came creeping until anger boils inside me. Feeling enrage at myself for holding myself back to something much more greater, I weep in my sleep, feeling dejected and so much jealousy to those who are able to do what they studied for and not wasting the knowledge that were gain all these years. The worse thing is, I feel like, if I don’t use this knowledge that I strive to learn, it’s going to leave me to die in rust. Like you have a knife and you don’t use it, it will slowly become blunt. I am trying hard not to forget or let any of my memories to die. 

#np - cool kids by echosmith

don't yo me

i miss these moments of satisfaction

ozososo

I learned from the past,
Don't lash out on others,
Not until you hear their part of the story,

So I got my bands , alhamdulillah
Its worth the effort,
Despite my pen running out of ink
And all other unfortunate stuff that happen,
I am glad, things happen for reasons beyond

My time is almost up
I'm in my final semester now
Hurrah (y)
And I start wondering
What's next

aku minta maaf geng,aku bukan kawan yg baik

ibu said "always see the good side of people",
i have failed ibu terribly
i forgot to see the good side of you
blinded by my own pride,
i have become a terrible friend
you will read what you want to read,
you will hear what you want to hear,
but i am asking you please,
read thoroughly,
i assume you've already see me as a frenemy, a stranger, backstabber
i can't blame you,
because my words have made you felt that way,
my words have stabbed you in the back,
my words have shattered your trust that you once had on me,
i am so ashamed for my actions,
i can only imagine the betrayal that you've felt right now,
no matter how much "sorry" i have said,
it wont mend our strained friendship,
if i could turn back time,
if only i could.. i am terribly sorry for everything i did, that hurt you
i just wish you guys would hear me out,
im not saying im not guilty,
just hear me,asking for your apology,
all of your apology

you might say,i'm playing with words,
no, i am trying to reach you through these words,
i know that i am asking too much
aku betul betul minta ampun dan maaf

standing or just fall

I don't understand anymore. sometimes its normal, sometimes, it feel wrong all over
I'm sighing over and over like an old soul, wailing and thinking, looking
Looking at the problems and hoping you'd find the best solution
I wish I can stand next to you,
but I can only look from afar,
Dear me,
Give me strength, just so I can smile and be proud
When inside I'm aching to do the same,
But hey, don't mind me, just look ahead,
If its written, then, I , too, will be there someday
Not too soon, nor too late
Just give me strength
Because as you stand on the podium,
I smile and beamed,
and I break silently

I Give These Words To Me Fellow Comrades, Here, There, Everywhere

me fellow comrades,

the semester that we've been longing since the first semester, fifth semester, muahahaha
a lot have happen since 2011, at first, there were many, somehow, the number of students
decreases gradually, as expected from the teachers.
we've made quite a bond fellow comrades, although our time was quick and short,
i cherish our friendship dearly, i do wish we could meet up sometime, somehow,
i have so many things to share, but im not great at expressing huh?
back then, we'd be like ; "ahhh...&*^%!!! bila nak sem 4? ..bila nak sem 5.."
then we would say things like ; "tak sabaa nyee nak sem ni..sem ituu.."
are you reading this one? i hope you are,
because we still talked about you from time to time,
not just you, we talked about others kids too, wondering how were things for them
my writing skills karat already, i'll write better next time
we still remember all of our friends, i hope all of you are doing great

belajarlah dengan sesungguh-sungguhnya

there are days..i just wanna go to the beach..and cry my heart out like this. those days, when you are just so sad..you don't know why, it felt so empty,so lonely that it hurts..to those who are currently studying. please enjoy it, your friends, the environment, that freedom to think beyond, limitless, endless ideas, subjects, theories, stories, fun..this..this.. serenity, these group of people,who stuck by you even when you're screwed up..once you lost that, and you step onto the adulthood, its over. i mean, im only having a spoon-full of adulthood..its as bitter as it can be..cause you're just a kid..

young adult

bad things happen
in ways you couldn't  imagine
at a time you wouldn't expect
so sometimes,
i imagine myself
facing the worst situation that i could possibly imagine,
i didn't get through,
i cried halfway thinking about it,
so,
jangan putus doa,
Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau beri hambaMu dugaan yang tak mampu hamba lalui

 ~robbi yassir walatu a'ssir Ya Qarim

happy 4th of july. .. keh

whatt lah am i doing?. . .

and so i always thought of doing something more "adult-ly" today. jee..i don't know,,
maybe walk in the rain like nobadeh biznes. or maybe ride a roller coaster( i never get to ride a roller coaster)..maybe i did.. but that wasnt adult-ly! <---does it count?
or maybe scream at the top of my lungs like everything is sound-proof . . .haahaha..
..or mandi kat air-terjun when the water is super cold!..hee..or just go to the beach and watch the ocean..and a lot of other amazing things. but i know that wouldn't happened. i can only imagine what its like to do that..it's not like im being ungrateful.. how shuould i put his.. keadaan tak mengizinkan. im not living in some place where all of those things can be reach that easy . or where i have the money to do so . or where everyone is not that busy..im a sucker for this. . .
*got noseblock summore ah*..haiyya :B

please prove that your not a robot

salam,

and so..the title,,,yeah. i read someone's blog recently, how astonishing the world have become . it's still a cruel world out there.

i have very few time now, it surprise me more than i thought looking at the calendar. in a few weeks time, and off i go. thank you midvalley, your existence have me reunited with my fellow mates*friends haha . i hope we can see more of each other,or see each other more . until then

wan ayesha. i think, or i thought,, however ;))

salam

helloe tiny little corner of the web,where i voice out my skeptical opinions of the universe. see this http://little-laughter.blogspot.com/2009/02/kosong.html person here, i just mention . she is my senior in highschool*that is before i went to septech*. i do not know if anyone remember her,but i did. and i still have these wondrous question of how is she now.haaa... my english is baaddd yaahhh. teehee. last time i'd check,she went to nz and she should have come back by now.or, so i thought. anyway, i haven't heard of her since. to be honest, i barely knew her.but, i can say that, had you have met her, she is one you would describe as, adorable,inspiring,and a very positive kind-uh person . if i were a dude, id totally be head over heels on her.hahahahaha. but im not. so i see her as a big-sister/rolemodel-ish . wherever you are kak ayesha. i hope you're well .

that's all for now.my thousands apologies for my bad grammar. and thank you for reading this.

hero handsome

in a few months, you'd be gone. with this brand-new life,brand-new friends,brand-new everything, and im going to be right here,..
i have been pretty cool about it. but im just trying to practice what life is going to be like without you. and im pissed off that i have to learn, for the next sem, what's it going to be like. this ,i wish i can say this to you, this is the closest my words can reach you,barely. i just wish you knew,how i feel,just like everyone else that loves you. and beacuse i know,you don't like talking about mushy stuff. so there you go. jaga diri geng c:

look at those models.they are "pretty" awesome

a mere something

before everything is said, my thousand
apologies to those who take this seriously
it is only a mere expression of those who
are less fortunate in choosing their way


university and non university
it's two different matters that most take as a
common place. what i meant by that statement
is ,yes , perhaps we are at fault for what we
are given, but some of us did give all of
our best effort in doing so, but we weren't
given the best chance to study, while those
who did get accepted by sheer dumb luck
gets to be all proud of themselve. oh yes,love,
the world is never at just. they show what fair and
what's not,but they don't do . i may sound
ungrateful through this tiny corner of the web,
but that is not the message im representing.
im just sharing an unpleasant thought of
the world that we live in

superhero friend

have you ever had a friend, who would laugh with
you, cry with you,makes you laugh untill you
face hurts, make a joke out of everything, gives
a damn good advice that its buried in your head
forever and tells interesting stories about her life
in any timeline she chose. ive met a few of
those who'd leave a significant mark forever in
me. i thank Allah for metting such friends.
He gave and He took back, to test us, to guide us
for any reason,for every reason,is for our own good

is my handsome hero going away, that's a big
question that i know deep in my heart,is true
she is going away.to a place nearer to her home
which is probably better for her . what makes me
more frustrated is that she'd already leave a big
mark in all of us. it is such a massive lost for us.
because i knew how she affects people
within. how happy she makes everybody feels
how she lighten up the mood, how her laugh makes
us laugh along,even if the joke wasn't that hillarious
its her aura.heh. shes leaving already.

dear handsome hero who ive cherish and love,
wherever you are and what you are to be,
don't ever give up, promise me and promise yourself
don't ever give up, in anything and everything that you do
you yourself know what's right and wrong,
i know that you know that.hah. and remember
that everybody love you,your family,your friends
and your cats ofcourse. we love you alley

salam

makin banyak nikmat senibina yang kita rasa

these days,or night,,or 3 in the morning.we seldom sleep. heck yeah to no sleep.
ughh..those words feels like such hyppopotamus. if we ever

adiwira yang cool

salam, i dedicated this post to my superheroes
of mahsuri . thank you

knight rider
thank you for letting me ride with you
everyday, regardless of the situation.

handsome hero
thank you for saving me, i am indebt to you
always

noona
thank you for being a timekeeper,we might've
missed our early classes without you

power rengers
thank you for listening to all my mumbling
about life and giving your best honest opinion
on things

most of all,thank you for accepting me when i need acceptance
and all of the things you guys did that make me feel comfortable

be bolder baby

hey you, be stronger,way stronger and braver, for you are going to fight more battles,you'll attain more scars and wounds, you will hurt and get hurt,intentionally or unintentionally,

be fearless,like the snow patrol's signal fire;untill all the fear falls away and leave you naked.

open your mind wide open, Allah doesn't test you for what you can't. there's always something, someway,somehow, someday, always

love yourself sayang,not being selfish, but not untill you know who you are,then you will know Allah, Ya Rabb

never give up, not ever will you surrender,nor regret of what you'll do,at least try not to regret

ala bizikrillahi tatmainnal quloob,ketahuilah dengan ingat Allah,hati kan menjadi tenang

you are not anyone's servant except Allah SWT, The Creator..please don't get yourself bullied, please.

remember what pian said, everyone loves you.remember that

#foster the people-call it what you want

tak bole tido?

'ssup,salam

aparently, i find myself unable to sleep after 3 in the morning, unless i was already asleep before, do i find myself clear, i don't understant exactly what im saying? yes
that must be it . also, my brother creepy ringtone which just went on for every five minutes is not helping . and, i left my phone in my parents bedroom. i bet the alarm's gonna tick 'em off . oh am i screwed. there goes the freakin' rigntone ringing 4 in the morning----------

here's for you AMIZA !!!

it's been ages since ive been tag. you don't usually get tag unless you have a blog *this was back then ofcourse* , umm..firstly, much apology for the awefully late reply to ur tag..im still managing my timeless time(iszat even a word?..) that's actually what makes blogging more fun .so thank you amiza for tagging me, and whoever that tag her, and whoever that tag the person before,and whoever tha......*the list goes on....* brings back memories.

1. You must post this rules.

2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.

3. Answer the questions tagger set for you in their post. And create 11 new questions for people you tagged to answer.

4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.

5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her

6. No tag back!

eleven things ;D

1)i missed my home, Allah knows how long n how much.
2)my sem break just started when everyone was about to start a new semester
*whaa..??**
3)so i don't really get to see my dearly friends that ive missed n cherish for long,sad
4)im looking forward to watch movies at the cinemas.not the laptop.ish
5)im feeling mellow.sad..for no reason..mybe there is, unknown yet
6)im a true worrier.i worry too much,for everything,for ten steps ahead,for the future .(shrugs)
7)food is my passion. i love food.it keeps me insane.studying n thinking for future keeps me sane.nows its balance.gahahahaha
8)i haven't talked face-to-face to any of my bestfriends.for.so.long
9)i feel alone.sumtimes..mybe..umm all the time..naahhh.sometimes only
10)i hope to make this three weeks worthwhile,for whatever the reasons are
11)i wish im braver than before .to face my tomorrow..

the q's from amiza ;0

1. Kenangan terburuk anda?
A DARK INCIDENT AT ...

2.Macammana ayah anda bertemu mak anda? (macam how i met your mother tuu)
ABAH N HIS FAMILY CAME FOR RAYA.BOTH MY ARWAH ATUK WAS FRIENDS U SEE..

3.Anda kenal saya dari mana?
SKTS,6 UPM..PASTU SIAP BAGI SURAT 'GOODLUCK' FOR UPSR.LUKIS GAMBAR KARTUN LAGI.I STILL REMMBR THE SWEET SMELL OF THE PAPER. IM STILL TOUCHED BY THAT PARTICULAR INCIDENT. GUMAO AMIZA ;)

4.Pernah salah masuk tandas tak?
BELUM...LAGI..HEHEHE

5.Tahi lalat yang paling menarik kat anggota badan anda.
TIADA LA YANG..

6.Lelaki yang pernah anda suka.Tapi tak pernah luahkan?
ROBERT PATTINSON. TAPI SELALU TAK SEMPAT NAK CKP..ISHHH

7.11 Perkara yang anda selalu buat sebelum tidur? *y so much?..ngeh*
TOILET,BRUSH TEETH,REMIND MYSELF IF DH ISYA' KE BLUM,BARING2,BACA BUKU,WIKIPEDIA,SURF THE NET, WATCH SUM MOVIES,LISTEN MUSIC,READ COMIC,MINUM AIR?,KACAU MA-KEN

8.11 kawan baik anda? kalau ada 5 pun boleh senaraikan.
ibu,abah,ma-ken,sharina,amirah hamizah,amalina,amirah shahirah,fara shahiera,bdk dorm, shafiqah azhar,nurdini,fadhlin mukhtarah,sharifah farah hidayah,nordiyana jafar,..ramai tak...kekeekeke :D

10.Siapa yang anda selalu teringat bila dalam kesusahan?
Allah SWT , abah n ibu

11.Bila nak kahwin?
tahun tahun tahun depan.hehehehe.taktau laa

umm..hehehe..im sorry, i dont have any question nor anyone to tag.
evryones busy...lately.mianhe

i messed up the last part.sorry ;( ..aiyoo.


later dudes ;( still sadd..

yow

portfolio..portfolio's..portfoolioosss...and exam.

wait for me sepang.im comin back soon.do smile for me ;D

i haven't post a thing for the longest time

most probabblyy bee-cause im super duper busy with assgnmnt,final projects,building models, redo-ing assgnment, and chasing deadlines. more of these and ill be the deadline, before i babble sum more, please forgive me for my bad grammar for i hvnt practise my english for a while. ive learnd a lot for these past few(or more) months.
value of time,money and SLEEP.oohh i miss ma bed everyday.i wonder what my friends whom i knew before are doing .where are they,what are the pursuing, when will i see them again, and will i be as succesful as they are once the time come for us to meet, eventually.

im thinking.

eid?

i just came home. and my raya hols are equals to my never ending assgnmnt. shucks.

say hello, then goodbye

hello,bhlog. hows it hang in?

this week has been hectic. i find myself making decisions. then doubting myself.
making yet again another decisions and start questioning about it all over again .
oiihh .. this is only a taste of adulthood . can i not go there *adulthood*?
sure enough, that's unavoidable . soon after, ill be leaving my job as temp .
ill be leaving erl,the bus,the station,the office,kak ina,my boss,izzati,cik md noor,
the ppl there, the lunch break we use to have,the friday trip to alamanda . this is
so sad :(

ive learned and experienced soo many in this three months*give or take* as a temp staff here . ive made friends and they are awesome . i do have a dream,bhlog, i do .
to studied abroad, to get married,to have a job that i love, to have children,
hear them laugh, to watch them grow, to love my husband, and soo soo many . i hope
Allah is listening to my prayers ,insyaAllah . and if i did go to johor, please
send me friend, a loyal friend, protect me from any harms, keep my faith strong
so that i would NEVER get shaken by anything/anyone. guide me Allah .

i am absurdly terrified of the world right now .

i just realize.im terrified of her when she's upset .

driew hcum ?

im not sure what am i feeling. here goes.

time is going way too fast,faster than bullet that i barely felt it.
this thing in my chest that beats ,kept telling me to brace because
something is about to happen . im confused, i know what to expect and when
am i being oblivious about everything ? something to look up for, but
it's not forever, love . im truly sorry, im breaking, shaking inside .
save me please, Ya Allah . the future is terifying .

i have dreams . are they enough? aren't they enough? what feeds enough?
im a worrier not a warrior . can't i be both? gosh, these questions .

this is a temporary . it was never meant to last . yow.

im a loon ;P

dude
we'll be okay
yeah we'd probbly got lost somewhere
maybe cried a little bit
stumbled a few times
frustrated at some point that you felt like crap
found some frenemies
almost got on the wronged bus again
got hurt
hurt someone else obliviously
even if you thought the pain was unbearable
we'll be just fine

nns and the works II

i am nurul nadirah. i like to move around.it keeps me alert. i like riding the bus to work . yeay work(yeay money!). i'm feeling quite content . i have lots of friends here . there's wana, kak ina, izzati, boss(wanie) , kak zai, kak hani, kak ekin and maybe ihsan . cik md noor, cik fahril and the most nicest person in this office is my boss(wanie!) and also kak ina. also sum more, cik md noor.this is my boss



she's so freakin' tall, when and only when she wears wedges . the next tall person i befriend is wana asri . this is her



she will always be seen wearing make up . not once her face was pale(at least not yet). okokokokok . izzati, on the other hand, loves picking fight with my boss . she said boss looks cute whenever she's upset/angry/red . izzati and i would share our journey home together . kak zai likes playing with me . she already have three kids . she would treat me like a little sister . kak ina is such a darling . we started working at pjh together . she would tell me a thing or two,time to time . certain people in the office loves to smile . thou, some would smirk while passing our table(tcheh..what the heck?!!) . wana likes talking in english . hahahahahaha. she is trying her best to improve herself greatly . i'm sooo proud of her .plus, plus,plus, my boss wants to be a singer,just like her mother . awesome yo!


credit to wana and wani . hehehehehh :P

nns and the works

workplace (the train rain)
1) you have to get on the 6.58 am train if you don't wanna be late

2) the ticket machine can buat hal for not accepting note money.pfft

3) the ticket itself is sometimes not readable *curse you ticket

workplace (the bus fuzz)
1) the bus would normally leave the terminal around 7.20 am.

2) therefore, you are extremely lucky if the bus leave at 7.15 am. that way
you won't get stuck in traffic

3) sometimes you get to ride with foreign people who have the physical
appearance of swimsuit models *grrr*

4) unfortunately all you can hear from them were"..mmraff mrafft?.."
or something like that. they sound almost german thou(was it my awfull
hearing?)

5) mornings are chilly so don't EVER terlelap . and miss your drop off
destination

6) ring the bell after the sri wawasan bridge(the only bridge that you'll
crossed to the menara)

workplace (the work smirk)
1) you have to trade your id(lesen,ic) for a pass at the security booth

2)your pass won't work before 8am, after 5pm and during lunch hour

3) office can feel like winter sometimes

4) especially on rainy days, so bring a sweater or something

5) when you're a temp staff, you can bring a book to kill time

6) friday is the best day of the week *TGIF*

7) you work for the fun of it(and experience), but you'll start appreaciating
free time, life, money, prosperity, family even your bed .

that's what i learned from a week as a temp. staff at pjh . it was awesome :)

nns and the tembikai

i would normally go to the night market . i would normally buy a quarter
of my favourite fruit( the awesome tembikai) i would go home with a
happy face after obtaining the fruit . and i would enjoyed it with all my
heart . but,..i am not happy when my tembikai went missing in the
fridge!!! . we all know tht living in a family means sharing , but all of it??!
you didn't even wash the container after you happily finish the awesome
fruit . it is unfair, considered i bought it with ma own maahhneeey.
im sorry i sound absurdly childish .thou, i do have a point rite? can't you
see i love the fruit . errghh..thank you for reading.enjoy ur day.

to the awesome tembikai . saranghae

nns n the dododo thngs

i didn't plan to write ths post(wuldn call ths as writing ultimately) i hve soo many thngs tht i dream of doing aftr my first taste of freedom, i.e. to meet long lost friend, to clean up a mess, to fix own attitude, to find mre cool songs, to read more books, to find own money perhaps? urgh.. im afloat .

currntly listening . winter song-sara barielles n ingrid michaelson

nns and sesi persekolahan

that statement doesn't mean anything anymore ! haha!

not for us school-leavers anyways :)

rock on babe!

sunyi

once i watched a narnia movie. and it was just lovely,still managed to
struckd a blow both in one hearts and minds . but that wasn't what i intentd
to tell . it was where that bothers me deeply . you see, no matter how much
i despise admitting this, i will always get the ogawa seat, by hook or by
crook. never would i askd for such seat . and then there's the madnificient
crowd that comes with it .one who couldn stop updating its fb account,
one with the loud mouth, and don't forget one who'd criticise so much
beacause he'd already knew hw the story ends .im not flawless myself and
i'd sound boastfull had i proceed . so, i cn only ask to those who
are reading, please, respect other ppl, wherevr, whenevr .
don't be to self-loving ,particularly in public places.

nns and the malam raya

oooh.it's finally her! it's finally here. last night we performd our last tarawih
and tonight we work our butss off!!!

today was superduper busy.ibu make us packed our stuff for penang so we
won't go hectic tomorrow(which is today).then aftr cleaning up the second
floor, we went for our last raya shopping at alamanda(where else?,duh.)
curtains, table cloth, bedsheets and glasses were bought within that 3 hours
last-minute shopping.

then, the work began, again. dust were suckd, surfaces were polished, jars
were filled, pots en pans were on the stove. people, were ready babey ;))
i'd thankd my ibu n abah, for everything.

so, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin. thank you for reading this. means
a lot to me. awesome. im happy, so be happy for today, no matter what.

nns and the going home for eid .

salam, and so we meet again.

i can't decide what i miss the most whn were going home for eid's hols.
first, there's the pelita around the aspuri, then there's lampu raya hanging
all around, thn were started seeing teachrs bustling in an out of the staff
room with kuih raya and lots of kerepek(especially bilk guru dua)
exchanging raya cards, midnight md's.etc.etc . what i liked the most were ,
when they started playing songs like dj daves' or sudirman's or p.ramlee's.
tht was definately golden,to me. frankly, this was my first n last ramadhan
as an asrama students, and it was priceless. the wardens would wake us up
either they'll turn on the siren longer or they'll make some silly
anouncemnt askng you to come down at the dm for sahur .*for the record,
ive only came down once;first ramadhan*. thou, i did my first and last
tarawih here*there's a loop in the middle ofcourse*. what else? hurm.
ooh, we get to go to putrajaya's baazar ramadhan, and it was heeuge .
all and all, ths yr's ramadhan means a lot.thou it would be a lot cooler
if the administrators playd the raya songs just like last year maa.

let's kemas rumah!!!

nns and the not-much-to say-ings.

i dun wanna say much.

hve a great ramadhan.

must struggle nw for better.

it's between me n spm(sayapunyamasalah)

ta-ta four now .

dude, we're like an inch to ramadhan

and soo..

hey peeps!!

lets see,a lot hve happend.i grew uup.failed 3 crucial subjcts.went to the awesome easy addmth progrme.doing bettr with addmth.sing a lot with hann in class.im sitting front row these days(still able to sleep).i dnt sleep in chemstry like i basically do.self concious.busy like bees.lovin my aras(2B yeah!).gettin to know our dearst cegu oya(syg cegu!).im tryng vry hard not to hurt people through my words.been hvng loads of mood swing(gotta get my 'cool' bck).savin money babey..

and..

115*lst i check*..thts hw much life we, 5th bacth, hve left before we leave.

ohh.i went through amal's(my class monitor) pencl case.found some cool words.

one of them are..

.."the great pleasure is when you can do what everyone said you can't"..

thnks.untill thn.i guess.burhh.

look people ;D

salam. i know i typed tht i shouldn't be sayin' anythng bfore spm, but it's the hols . please,tq ;))

did i mentioned that im still in ka2(kej.awam) this year? yup im still here, with the rest of us(mostly anyway) . students who achieve outstnding results get sorted into 5sss(sayasusahsebut) while those who're nearly outstandng get into class tht ends with the numbr 1. i.e 5km1,5ka1,5ke1 n so on .

to be honest i hated this class the moment i step foot on it . whats more annoying is , i grew fond of it each day . and now i love these kids . they are my friends,my back up disk,my supporters,my brothers, my sisters, my family. and i am going to miss them so freakin' bad . now thts the real truth . tell you again later, ihvn't bathe yet. i just cme back aftr a month staying in the hostel. and it's just feel darn good to be home again .

farewell for now hobos .

good wutever good ur havng ;))

classtrip?? belog ini umpama semakn mati ayat . entah ilham spm dh dekat kutt . sou,, sye rathee baek takayah bce belog nie, untill after spm . buleeyy ;))


nada hri nie melankolik yee anakanak .

acquaintance brr..cakap!

assalamualaikum wbt.

and so form 4 gets to go back early..pegi la! nk balek sgt anak manja!

mr principledear says that he intendd to 'potong steam' of our hols. that old man,ouh..he's somethng alright . so be it . despite that we're still exhausted(i.e kejohn olahraga, n other mumbojumbo that rose the whole week) the seniors although reluctant still come . what's left of us anyway. it wasn't as tiring as it thought it would be, it's still unpleasant. imagine this, tak pernah pernah nye ade prep hari sabtu bole dia sruh kte prep dgn nk qiamullail esk pgi, dgn tak packing sbb esk balek . alhamdulillah dia kata prep kat ruang belajr asrama . but, it's okay i guess, since we are the seniors . terime kasih sbb sudi mmbaca



mencari emansipasi .

kisah air masin dan air tawar.

"Dan Dialah yang membiarkan dua laut mengalir (berdampingan) ; yang ini tawar lagi segar dan yang lain masin lagi pahit; dan Dia jadikan antara keduanya dinding dan batas yang menghalangi." (Q.S Al Furqan:53)

Jika Anda termasuk orang yang gemar menonton rancangan TV `Discovery' pasti kenal Mr.Jacques Yves Costeau, ia seorang ahli oceanografer dan ahli selam terkemuka dari Perancis. Orang tua yang berambut putih ini sepanjang hidupnya menyelam ke perbagai dasar samudera di seantero dunia dan membuat filem dokumentari tentang keindahan alam dasar laut untuk ditonton di seluruh dunia.

Pada suatu hari ketika sedang melakukan eksplorasi di bawah laut, tiba-tiba ia menemui beberapa kumpulan mata air tawar-segar yang sangat sedap rasanya kerana tidak bercampur/tidak melebur dengan air laut yang masin di sekelilingnya, seolah-olah ada dinding atau membran yang membatasi keduanya. Fenomena ganjil itu memeningkan Mr. Costeau dan mendorongnya untuk mencari penyebab terpisahnya air tawar dari air masin di tengah-tengah lautan. Ia mulai berfikir, jangan-jangan itu hanya halusinansi atau khalayan sewaktu menyelam. Waktu pun terus berlalu setelah kejadian tersebut, namun ia tak kunjung mendapatkan jawapan yang memuaskan tentang fenomena ganjil tersebut.

Sampai pada suatu hari ia bertemu dengan seorang profesor muslim, kemudian ia pun menceritakan fenomena ganjil itu. Profesor itu teringat pada ayat Al Quran tentang bertemunya dua lautan ( surat Ar-Rahman ayat 19-20) yang sering diidentikkan dengan Terusan Suez .

Ayat itu berbunyi "Marajal bahraini yaltaqiyaan, bainahumaa barzakhun laa yabghiyaan.. . "Artinya: "Dia biarkan dua lautan bertemu, di antara keduanya ada batas yang tidak boleh ditembus." Kemudian dibacakan surat Al Furqan ayat 53 di atas. Selain itu, dalam beberapa kitab tafsir, ayat tentang bertemunya dua lautan tapi tak bercampur airnya diertikan sebagai lokasi muara sungai, di mana terjadi pertemuan antara air tawar dari sungai dan air masin dari laut.

Namun tafsir itu tidak menjelaskan ayat berikutnya dari surat Ar-Rahman ayat 22 yang berbunyi "Yakhruju minhuma lu'lu`u wal marjaan" ertinya "Keluar dari keduanya mutiara dan marjan." Padahal di muara sungai tidak ditemukan mutiara. Terpesonalah Mr. Costeau mendengar ayat-ayat Al Qur'an itu, melebihi kekagumannya melihat keajaiban pemandangan yang pernah dilihatnya di lautan yang dalam. Al Qur'an ini mustahil disusun oleh Muhammad yang hidup di abad ke tujuh, suatu zaman saat belum ada peralatan selam yang canggih untuk mencapai lokasi yang jauh terpencil di kedalaman samudera.

Benar-benar suatu mukjizat, berita tentang fenomena ganjil 14 abad yang silam akhirnya terbukti pada abad 20. Mr. Costeau pun berkata bahawa Al Qur'an memang sesungguhnya kitab suci yang berisi firman Allah, yang seluruh kandungannyamutlak benar. Dengan seketika dia pun memeluk Islam.

Allahu Akbar...! Mr. Costeau mendapat hidayah melalui fenomena teknologi kelautan. Maha Benar Allah yang Maha Agung. Shadaqallahu Al `Azhim.Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda: "Sesungguhnya hati manusia akan berkarat sebagaimana besi yang dikaratkan oleh air." Bila seorang bertanya, "Apakah caranya untuk menjadikan hati-hati ini bersih kembali?" Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, "Selalulah ingat mati dan membaca Al Quran."

Jika anda seorang penyelam, maka anda harus mengunjungi Cenote Angelita , Mexico . Disana ada sebuah gua. Jika anda menyelam sampai kedalaman 30 meter, airnya air segar (tawar), namun jika anda menyelam sampai kedalaman lebih dari 60 meter, airnya menjadi air asin, lalu anda dapat melihat sebuah "sungai" di dasarnya, lengkap dengan pohon dan daun daunan.