... and beyond

It’s still awkward brother, where are you, I wish I could ask you that and pretend I don’t know. But that’s like defying Allah’s will. That’s not what I want. That’s not what you’d want either. Not thinking about you makes me forget for a while, that emptiness inside me, inside us. I have a feeling that mom is a little pissed that maybe we move on a little too fast, she hates the thought of us already over your death. No, she’s wrong, she’s far from right. It still aches in each and every one of us. Honestly, I never forget you, not a single day passes not thinking about you even for a second. I bet momma thought of you the most, in most of her du’as, in her prayer, in her sight, in her mind. Abah? He’s suffering , just as hard as Ibu. Thou, he have his ways of covering his sadness. Abapis, he loves you too much, slowly progressing for better in shaa Allah. I did something stupid again today. I tried calling you, hoping you take that call, hoping you say ;ndrah~ kenape… I’m used to this stupidity.